Chaospublished 10 Oct 2026
Elevators remember who presses the close-door button and hold it against them
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5.0 / 5 · 1 plopsPlatinum Poo
Everyone knows the close-door button does nothing. Fewer people ask why it is still there. My theory: it is not a control, it is a sensor.
Every building quietly scores its riders. Press close-door and you lose a point. Hold the door for a stranger and you gain one. Drop low enough and the lift starts stopping at floors nobody chose, pausing just long enough for you to reflect.
This explains every elevator that has ever felt personally slow. It was not slow. It was keeping score.
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